Publication: Weekly World News (via the Sun)
Date: 18 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! This headline was almost good enough to make me open the magazine. The CIA is fighting terror using Ellen DeGeneres' cupcakes!

I looked online and, wonder of wonders, this story is almost true! It's actually MI6, the British intelligence agency, who replaced a sugar-based bomb instruction set with Ms. DeGeneres's cupcake recipe.

OMG, the Weekly World News almost tells the whole truth. I have to re-think all my pre-conceptions about Batboy and the alien who endorses presidential candidates now.

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Publication: Globe
Date: 4 July 2011

While she is no longer on American False Idol, Ellen DeGeneres is still on daytime TV, which means she is of interest to the low rent Examiner's target demographic. Of all the homes mention in the category "Rich People Are Rich" in the last year and a half, this is the most expensive price on a house by at least a factor of two.

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