Publication: Globe

Date: 29 August 2011



Welcome to gossip hell, Sophia Loren! The Globe says the international film star has had topless pictures taken recently at the age of 76. Anyone who saw Boy On A Dolphin, the 1957 movie she made when she was 23, already has a very good idea of what she looked like nekkid, and what she looked like was nothin' but fine, fine, FOINE!



Since the only other kind of story the Globe would tell about her is a Brave Last Days alert, I'd have to say this is preferable.

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Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 1 August 2011

While other gossip sources show interest in the Olsen twins, young and allegedly worth billions while looking like heroin addicts, the Only Ten Magazines That Matter have left them alone for the most part. The Enquirer says this week that Mary Kate, whose last big brush with tabloid fame came when she was allegedly the last person to see Heath Ledger alive way back in early 2008, had a tearful public breakdown and they have exclusive pictures.

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Publication: National Examiner
Date: 21 June 2011

The low rent Examiner has Roseanne on the cover this week, a celebrity who has been completely out of the gossip spotlight for many years. Her claim to gossip-worthiness, at least the low rent Examiner's version of worthiness, is an interview in which she admits she's crazy, a revelation labeled as "shocking".

In other shocking news, water is wet and gravity works best in the downward direction when you are standing on some given planet.

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