Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Say what you will about the National Enquirer. I have probably said something worse. If they have a saving grace, it's that their stories are usually not just re-hashes of stuff that's already been printed elsewhere. Even when they cover the same material, they usually put a meaner spin on it. This week, they have Angelina Jolie trying to get between Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux. Here are the headlines.

• Angie wants Jen's new man!
• Explosive fight after Angelina invites Justin to dinner & offers him movie role
• Jen rages: "Keep your hands off of him!"
  

This story is ten weeks old, first reported by In Touch. Not the Enquirer's best work by a long shot.

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

There have been several rumors about Carrie Underwood being pregnant since her wedding in July 2010, the last flurry of such stories showing up in January. It isn't surprising to get a pregnancy rumor in the supermarket rags, one for which I can find neither confirmation or denial, and since she's married for over a year, there's no scandal attached. What is surprising is that this relatively nice headline shows up in the nasty National Enquirer.

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Earlier this month, Reese Witherspoon was hit by a car and briefly hospitalized. It was a one day story in the online gossip world and the timing was bad for the supermarket rags. But more than a week later, the Enquirer puts her on the cover with overly sensational headlines.

• Days after being hit by car
• Reese's Brain Surgery Drama!
  
• World Exclusive photos inside
• It could be deadly!

Technically, any strong concussion can turn deadly, but it's rare. For the serious over-reaction, this is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Say what you will about the Three Wicked Step Sister tabloids, they are equal opportunity haters across the political spectrum. They've slagged anyone in the White House since at least Bill Clinton, they've gone after John Edwards and Al Gore, but also Rush Limbaugh and now, Sarah Palin. They took the juiciest stories from the new book to be released by Joe McGinniss and put them on the cover this week. Here are the headlines.

• Sarah cheated on Todd with Glen Rice
• Husband Todd's racial violence
• Her naked nights with young girls
• She abandoned her kids
  

For those without a score card, Glen Rice is an NBA player and Sarah's alleged affair took place before she was married to Todd.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!

Here are the latest Casey Anthony headlines from the Enquirer.

• Her new life after she flees country
• How she financed her getaway
• Caylee's monster mom is never coming back!
  

While several gossip rags paid attention to the Casey Anthony story when the verdict came out in July, two months later it's only the Three Wicked Step Sisters - the Enquirer, Globe and the low rent Examiner - that have any interest at all. Even so, her story is trending upwards and she might break into the Top Ten most popular celebrities this year if it keeps up, though she will have to pass a couple minor Kardashians, Sarah Palin and Justin Theroux to get there.

Formidable competition to be sure.

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

Remember when a special prosecutor looking into a shady real estate deal entered into by Bill and Hillary Clinton found out that Whitewater was a dry well? And failing at that, he decided to look into women Bill Clinton entered into? Well, if you have forgotten, the National Enquirer decided this week that you really wanted a "Whatever happened to Monica Lewinsky?" story.

As it turns out, nothing good. The headline reads "Affair with Clinton ruined her."

Read more »

Publications: In Touch, Star, OK!, National Enquirer
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

Lots of stories about Sandra and Ryan this week, but not much consensus. Here are the headlines.

• OK!: Ryan make Sandra happier than ever with a baby at 47!
  PLUS Why Ryan is the perfect dad!
  OK! exclusive
• Star: New drama for Ryan & Sandra: his ex gets involved
• In Touch: Sandra: New dad for Louis
• National Enquirer: Sandra betrayed by Ryan!
  He still loves ex-wife Scarlett

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

I don't watch Dancing With The Stars, but I do somewhat admire the show's ability to generate gossip. Chaz Bono is the obvious negative lightning rod this season, though I think Nancy Grace will also add a lot of new people to the list of folks who hate her guts. The Enquirer says there is a shocker involving cancer for Chaz. Here are the headlines.

• DWTS Chaz Bono
• Cancer shocker
• His tears and pain
• World exclusive news and photos
  

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 12 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Last trash of the week... right now!

Two weeks ago, People and the National Enquirer had covers stories about the new murder investigation on the island of Aruba. The Enquirer has had stories both this week and last, this time saying they absolutely have the murderer due to video evidence.

Real news outlets are also covering this story and in the real world, there still hasn't been an arrest, though it looks like Gary Giordano is the prime suspect, possibly the only suspect.

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 12 September 2011



The Enquirer does sometimes get a story right, but in their hearts they are liars who can't be trusted. This week on the cover, they promise the best and worst celebrity diets, but the pictures on the cover only show people who are very fat or way too skinny. There are a couple of "Guess Who?" pictures, but I don't play that. I will note that in the "Guess Who?", there is a picture of a man with his face covered where you can count his ribs like some survivor from Auschwitz, but all the rest of the people pictured are women.



Here are the too fat people named.

• Miranda Lambert: 158 pounds
• Sabourney Sibide: 400 pounds
  
  

Here are the too skinny people named.

• Lindsay Lohan: scary skinny
• Renee Zellweger: bag of bones
• Christie Brinkley: 107 lbs.

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 12 Sept. 2011



Usually, the nicest stories in the gossip rags are weddings and babies, so Elin Nordegren finding a new fella should be a positive story. But this is the Enquirer, the nastiest gossip rag around, so they have to add the tagline "Tiger's outrage!" to put this story in the negative column.

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!



The Enquirer has a story that Lady Gaga is going to have a secret wedding and tells you, the reader, how you can attend.



This story is odd for several reasons. Let me list them.

1. This is the first time the Enquirer has mentioned Lady Gaga this decade. She's really not aimed at their demographic.
2. It's a generally positive story from the Meanest Tabloid In The United States.
3. If the wedding is a secret, how can any old person in a supermarket checkout line attend?

As odd as the story was, I didn't open the rag up to find the answer to the last question.

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



The Enquirer gives a lot of ink on the cover to the investigation of Robyn Gardner, the woman who recently went missing in Aruba, and they name Gary Giordano as the prime suspect. Here are the headlines.

• Robin killed in suspect's hideout
• What happened in her final minutes - cops believe
  
  

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Welcome to gossip hell 2011 style Omer Bhatti! The kid was a hanger-on in the Michael Jackson universe back in the 1990s, and there were rumors that he was Michael's illegitimate son.

But now the story gets a little crazier. Etterlene DeBarge, mother of the DeBarge clan and Janet Jackson's former mother-in-law, says Omer is the child of El Debarge and Janet.



The Enquirer printed this because crazy old bats are never wrong.

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Let the record show that while Taylor Armstrong was on the cover of several gossip rags because she was too skinny, The Only Ten Magazines That Matter ignored her husband Russell until the Enquirer wrote an article that said he beat her and put her in the hospital, and while the article was still on the stands, he committed suicide.



Now, after possibly driving the man to suicide, the Enquirer decides to kick a corpse and talk to his alleged gay lover. They also add the sub-headline "Housewives suicide tragedy!" just in case you forgot why this guy should be on the cover of a gossip rag.



I don't think outing a person is the worst thing in the world, but if that person isn't an anti-gay political figure like Marcus Bachmann or Rick Perry, I don't see the point.



This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Read more »

Publications: People, National Enquirer

Date: 29 August 2011



People and the National Enquirer are nearly polar opposites when it comes to the gossip rag world, but they do have one kind of story in common: true crime. The latest is the disappearance of Robyn Gardner, 35, who was vacationing in Aruba, which of course brings up memories of Natalee Holloway. Here are the headlines.

• People: Aruba mystery: What happened to Robyn?
• National Enquirer: 1: new Aruba murder investigation
  
  Joran linked to sleazy suspect!
  
  What happened to Robyn, 35

Of course, Joran Van Der Sloot still rots in a Peruvian jail, but that's no reason the Enquirer can't connect him to this story.

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 29 August 2011



Yet again, the Enquirer's war on fat Scientologists continues unabated. According to some "pal" they talked to, John Travolta has left his wife Kelly Preston and their marriage is shattered. The same "pal" reports the quote "Kelly and I have become strangers."



This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 29 August 2011



Oprah is still one of the favorite punching bags for the dogs from the AMI kennel, and while they write something positive about her once in a blue moon. Stedman Graham is only trotted out for negative stories. This time it's his brother, whose name is not given on the cover. The cops were called to his house, says a pal.



Pals like this you don't need, but then again, if you are reading this, chances are the tabloids don't much care about the drama in your life.



This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Read more »

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 22 August 2011



Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!



Welcome to gossip hell, Lys Agnes! The 27 year old contestant on America's Got Talent is said to be the other woman in the marriage of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, according to the National Enquirer.

Read more »

Publications: In Touch, National Enquirer

Date: 22 August 2011



In Touch is the meanest of the magazines of the non-AMI magazines at about two thirds mean stories. The Enquirer is meanest mag period with about 90% mean stories. But this week, on the same story, In Touch slightly out-means The Flagship on stories tsk-tsking LeAnn Rimes and her weight. Here are the headlines.

• In Touch: LeAnn shocker: 95 lbs.
• National Enquirer: LeAnn Rimes down to a bone thin 99 lbs.
  
  New weight loss shocker
  
  
  
  

Read more »