Publications: OK!, In Touch
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

Before a few weeks ago, the stories about Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries were mostly positive, but now, everything is going to hell in a handbasket. Here are the headlines.

• OK!: Kim'n'Kris: Will the marriage be annulled?
• In Touch: Kim disses Kris' family

In Touch is the meanest of the non-AMI gossip rags, so when they get catty, it's not a big surprise. OK!, on the other hand, is the nicest if not most reliable American supermarket tabloid. If they are going after the couple, it's open season.

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Publications: People, OK!, In Touch, Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly, Star
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on... Wednesdays!?! Yes, there is clearly the Story of the Week, so let's get an early start on it. Some combination Brad and Jen and Angie and Justin (Theroux, the odd man out when it comes to gossip fame in this crowd) show up on an astonishing seven of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter, and given that none of them are old enough to be interesting to the Globe and the low rent Examiner and Nostradamus foolishly forgot to make any prophecies about them that would be published in the Sun, seven is just about the max anyone can get.

The National Enquirer story is way different from the others, so it will get its own post tomorrow.

Brad Pitt was interviewed in Parade magazine in the publicity run-up to his new movie Moneyball and he made some comments about having no ambition in the 1990s and his marriage to Jennifer Aniston no being what he had hoped for. This has caused a stink and he has publicly apologized, but that doesn't stop the gossip rags from flying off the handle in a jillion different directions. Here are the headlines.

• People: Brad to Jen: 'I'm Sorry'
• OK!: Brad to Jen: I've been living a lie!
  Brad publicly apologizes to Jen
  The shocking truth is finally revealed!
  A humiliated Angelina is devastated
• In Touch: Brad's insults spark a new war
  Jen's man threatens Brad
  Inside their explosive Sept. 14 showdown
  Justin calls Brad a "wimp" and warns, "Shut your mouth!"
  PLUS How Angelina is still fueling the fire
• Weekly Life & Style: Why Brad's jealous of Jen
• Us Weekly: Brad trashes their marriage
  Jen demands an apology
  Enraged by Pitt's cruel attack, Aniston refuses to let him spoil her happiness
• Star: Jen rips Brad for trashing her
  The furious phone call
  
  

As you can see, this story is all over the place. Tomorrow, one completely different gossip story that includes Jen and Angie and Justin and leaves Brad completely out of the picture.

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Publication: OK!
Date: 26 Sept. 2001

OK!, the most positive scandal rag if not the most reliable, doubles down on the cover story with two unsubstantiated rumors, the marriage plans of Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux, allegedly planning to wed in December, AND the wedding plans of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Of course, their take in the situation is that the witch Angelina is planning on getting married just to ruin Jennifer's wedding.

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Publication: OK!
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson have been an item since July of last year. A lot of the stories about them focused on them rushing things. Supposedly, she was racing her ex Nick Lachey to see who would get married first.

She lost that race.

Now, OK! reports the wedding is on hold, which as far as I can tell is exactly what her family wants.

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Publication: OK!
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Since the beginning of 2010, the Kardashian sisters have had a total of zero babies. This has not stopped The Only Ten Magazines That Matter from telling us Kim or Kourtney or Khloe was pregnant, each of them multiple times. And pile on top of that record of unreliability the fact that this report is from the very nice but very unreliable OK!, there is a very good chance that whatever one they say is pregnant actually isn't.

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(picture from TMZ.COM/rights by Getty Images)
Publications: People, OK!, Weekly Life & Style, In Touch, Us Weekly
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash... on Wednesdays? Yes, all but two of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter have online presence, so I can check out the covers today, and one story hit all the covers of the non-AMI mags. Jennifer Lopez and Bradley Cooper were seen dining together, and though their representatives say it was business, the gossip rags are having a field day. Here are the headlines.

• People: J. Lo's dinner with Bradley Cooper
• OK!: J. Lo and Bradley's hot date (only in OK!)
• Weekly Life & Style: Marc can't handle it
  J. Lo and Bradley's hot date
• In Touch: J. Lo and Bradley: Hot New Romance
• Us Weekly: J. Lo and Bradley: Revenge Date
  

Besides this story getting five mentions and two of them implying that Jennifer is only doing this to get back at her cheating spouse, my favorite detail is OK! being delusional enough to think this story is an exclusive. The picture I nicked is from TMZ.com, which published this story back on Sunday.

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Publication: OK!
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

For all OK!'s faults, when they have a headline about best beach bodies, they have pictures of pretty people on the cover. A lot of AMI mags have "best and worst" headlines then only show the worst.


Kim Kardashian is included, though she's not really "in Hollywood" since she doesn't make movies or non-reality TV.

Still, I like looking at this picture.



Megan Fox is "in Hollywood", but her star is fading fast. Still pretty, but not still getting a lot of work.


Zac Efron is like the male Megan Fox. Everyone agrees he looks good without a shirt, but his post High School Musical career is still waiting for a hit movie.

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Publication: OK!
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

I thought there was a chance Jennifer Lopez would become more of a gossip target once she joined the judging panel on American Idol, but The Only Ten Magazines That Matter don't devote that much ink to that show. Now that her marriage has fallen apart and the rumors are that she was the dumpee and not the dumper, her gossip star is rising.

This week, OK!, usually the nicest of the gossip rags if not the most reliable, lets her cheating estranged husband drag her name through the mud.

Not that she doesn't deserve it.

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Publications: In Touch, Star, OK!, National Enquirer
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

Lots of stories about Sandra and Ryan this week, but not much consensus. Here are the headlines.

• OK!: Ryan make Sandra happier than ever with a baby at 47!
  PLUS Why Ryan is the perfect dad!
  OK! exclusive
• Star: New drama for Ryan & Sandra: his ex gets involved
• In Touch: Sandra: New dad for Louis
• National Enquirer: Sandra betrayed by Ryan!
  He still loves ex-wife Scarlett

Read more »

Publications: People, OK!
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Say farewell to gossip hell, Kate Gosselin! Her reality TV show has been canceled, which means there's a good chance the Only Ten Magazines That Matter will stop paying attention to her at all. This is only the fourth week this year she's been mention, while she had 28 stories in 2010 and was one of the Top Ten gossip rag celebrities last year.

And what could be more fitting a farewell to this nasty piece of work than two negative cover stories from the nicest mags around? Here are the headlines.

• OK!: Kate Gosselin Exclusive
  She's broke without the TV show!
• People: Kate Gosselin
  Will Her Kids Be OK?
  After six rocky years on TV, Kate and her kids face an uncertain future. "I'm really scared", says Kate

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Publication: OK!

Date: 12 Sept. 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! OK!, the nicest of the supermarket rags if not the most reliable, combines two popular stories this week into a compare and contrast, with the real connection being that both Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Aniston are moving into new homes. Here are the headlines.

• New homes for new babies!
  
  
• Who's homesick
• Who wants a bigger closet
• Who will have the best nursery

Of course, neither woman has yet confirmed a pregnancy, but that never stops OK!

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Publications: People, Weekly Life & Style, OK!

Date: 12 Sept. 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Since Beyoncé's confirmation of pregnancy happened on Sunday, there was plenty of time for the gossip rags to get the story in this week's edition and three decided to put her on the cover. Here are the headlines.

• People: Beyoncé pregnant!
• Weekly Life & Style: Beyoncé four months pregnant
• OK!: Beyoncé: baby news!
  
  

Best wishes to all concerned.

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Publication: OK!

Date: 5 September 2011



A quick scan of the label list shows that Damn You Skinny™ stories are more than twice as common as Damn You Fat™ stories, roughly as common as Bun In The Oven Alerts™. OK! has three women on the cover this week, Gwyneth Paltrow, LeAnn Rimes and Angelina Jolie, with a passel of headlines that aren't connected to specific people, hoping to get someone to open the magazine and read it. In my case, as usual, this clever plan did not work.



Here are the headlines.

• Hollywood's most extreme diets
• Exercising at midnight
• Eating only baby food
• 190 calories per meal
• Who's being healthy and who's in danger!
  
  

Read more »

Publication: OK!

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



OK! continues to push the story of Brad Pitt's relationship with a young assistant on the set of World War Z, first leaked in early July. Here are the new headlines.

• Brad's mystery woman revealed
• (OK! exclusive)
• She shows off in a sexy bikini
• Parades around in her underwear
• Her x-rated message to Angie

Her name is not mentioned on the cover, but on the website OK! outs Lara Marsden as the culprit.

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Publications: OK!, Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly, Globe

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Half of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter have stories about the suicide death of Russell Armstrong last week. Armstrong was the estranged husband of Taylor Armstrong of the reality TV show The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Here are four of the headlines.

• OK!: Russell's suicide
  
  why he didn't have to die
• Globe: Curse of reality TV
  
  Shows blasted for tearing lives apart
• Weekly Life & Style: Taylor devastated by suicide
  
  The chilling episodes you'll never see
• Us Weekly: Reality suicide
  
  dark secrets exposed
  
  destroyed by their pursuit of fame

Let the record show that these gossip hounds say it's all reality TV's fault, as though the supermarket rags don't rely on reality TV for a large bulk of their stories. (To be fair to the Globe, because their audience skews older, they don't do reality TV gossip as much as the other mags on the list above.) There is one headline I didn't include because it's going to be in the running for Meanest Story of the Week.

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Publications: People, In Touch, Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly, OK!, Star

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! The Only Ten Magazines That Matter treated the wedding of Kim Kardashian as a Big Damn Deal this week, with slightly less coverage than the Royal Wedding this spring, but more coverage than Chelsea Clinton last year.



Behold the power of reality TV.



Here are the headlines.

• People: Kim's wedding album
  
  The exclusive photos!
  
  only in People
  
  Gown! Guests! Glamour!
  
  Every delicious detail!
• In Touch: Kim's $400,000 wedding gift
• Weekly Life & Style: Kim's wedding album
  
  the ring, the dresses and that 7-foot cake
• Us Weekly: Kim's wedding
  
  fairy tale or fake?
  
  Inside her lavish $17 million I do's
• OK!: Kim's Fairy-tale wedding
• Star: Kim's wild wedding
  
  drunk stars and a shocking twist - only in Star

It's not surprising that Star would find a negative angle, but it is a little surprising that Us Weekly goes nasty, too. While I get the feeling there is some Kardashian backlash going on, the next logical step in the story is the pregnancy watch, and the gossip rags cannot help themselves when it comes to speculation about babies.



I don't think Kim is going away just yet. The rest of the Kardashian clan may be waning, but she has set herself up perfectly for the modern gossip industry.

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Publications: OK!, Star

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Two magazines once again want to make more of the Sandra Bullock-Ryan Reynolds friendship, though the story has been denied in the past. Here are the headlines.

• Star: Sandra & Ryan getting married
  
  Exclusive photos & details of their secret getaway
  
  Ryan's acting like a dad.
  
  Inside their hush-hush romance
• OK!: Sandra & Ryan: Together again
  
  new pics inside
  
  

The picture on the cover of Star that looks paternal is Sandra and Ryan hiking with little Louis being carried by him instead of her.

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Publication: OK!, Us Weekly

Date: 29 August 2011



The Only Ten Magazines That Matter are not being as obsessive about Kim Kardashian's wedding this weekend as they were about the Wills'N'Kate's big to-do, but there are a passel of stories about wedding that have just recently happened or are about to happen or are at least being rumored.



OK! says Jennifer Aniston is planning to get married and Us Weekly says Jen and Justin (Theroux) are talking marriage. Her reps say this is just a rumor.

OK! says Eva Longoria is planning to get married. Her reps say this is just a rumor.



As I have written before, OK! is the nicest of the gossip rags, but not the most reliable.

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Publication: OK!

Date: 29 August 2011



OK! tells us they have inside information on the actual eating habits of two women sometimes considered too skinny. The first is Kristen Stewart.



I'm sure she gets plenty of protein biting her lower lip. She does that all the time. Also, I've seen publicity stills from the latest Twilight saga. Wearing very little clothing and photographed from lots of angles, her arms and legs don't have that ridiculous emaciated look at all.

And the other is Kate Middleton. She may be too skinny, but she is a vast improvement over the #1 Kate of 2010 gossip, Kate Gosselin.

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Publications: Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly, OK!, Star

Date: 29 August 2011



We are less than 72 hours from the wedding of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries this Saturday, August 20, and the wedding is the biggest story of the week on the covers of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter, with three magazine headlines and a fourth where she is part of a trio of soon to be brides. Here are the solo stories.

• Us Weekly: Kim's big day
  
  three wedding dresses
• OK!: exclusive interview complete coverage
  
  Kim weds!
  
  Gorgeous photos
  
  Touching gifts
  
  'Vera Wang made the perfect dress'
• Weekly Life & Style: Wedding of the year!
  
  All the romantic details
  
  two stunning Vera Wang gowns and a $15,000 cake
  
  Celebrating with 720 bottles of wine
  
  Kim in tears after Kris' touching promise
  
  Official interview: "Now I want babies!"

Notice that the magazines can't even agree on how many gowns there are, but they do agree that Vera Wang made them all. As for "Wedding of the Year!", there were six stories about Wills and Kate the Thursday before they got hitched, and I'm absolutely certain this wedding is not going to create a new tabloid person of interest like Pippa Middleton.



Still, this wedding has made weddings in general a big topic this week, and this blog wishes every happiness to all concerned.

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