Publications: Us Weekly, In Touch
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! When Hollywood couples break up, the gossip rags tend to be more interested in how the woman is faring romantically than how the guy is doing. There are some exceptions to this and the most notable if 2011 is Ryan Reynolds, who divorced Scarlett Johannson late last year. He has been on the covers of the supermarket rags more often than she has. The latest alleged love for Reynolds is Olivia Wilde, his co-star from The Change-Up. Here are the headlines.

• Us Weekly: Ryan Moves on from Sandra - with Olivia Wilde!
• In Touch: Poor Sandra... Ryan & Olivia: It's On!
  

Notice how it's supposed to be Sandra Bullock's heart he is breaking with his new relationship. Scarlett is completely out of the picture, at least in the version on the covers this week.

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Publications: People, OK!, In Touch, Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly, Star
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on... Wednesdays!?! Yes, there is clearly the Story of the Week, so let's get an early start on it. Some combination Brad and Jen and Angie and Justin (Theroux, the odd man out when it comes to gossip fame in this crowd) show up on an astonishing seven of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter, and given that none of them are old enough to be interesting to the Globe and the low rent Examiner and Nostradamus foolishly forgot to make any prophecies about them that would be published in the Sun, seven is just about the max anyone can get.

The National Enquirer story is way different from the others, so it will get its own post tomorrow.

Brad Pitt was interviewed in Parade magazine in the publicity run-up to his new movie Moneyball and he made some comments about having no ambition in the 1990s and his marriage to Jennifer Aniston no being what he had hoped for. This has caused a stink and he has publicly apologized, but that doesn't stop the gossip rags from flying off the handle in a jillion different directions. Here are the headlines.

• People: Brad to Jen: 'I'm Sorry'
• OK!: Brad to Jen: I've been living a lie!
  Brad publicly apologizes to Jen
  The shocking truth is finally revealed!
  A humiliated Angelina is devastated
• In Touch: Brad's insults spark a new war
  Jen's man threatens Brad
  Inside their explosive Sept. 14 showdown
  Justin calls Brad a "wimp" and warns, "Shut your mouth!"
  PLUS How Angelina is still fueling the fire
• Weekly Life & Style: Why Brad's jealous of Jen
• Us Weekly: Brad trashes their marriage
  Jen demands an apology
  Enraged by Pitt's cruel attack, Aniston refuses to let him spoil her happiness
• Star: Jen rips Brad for trashing her
  The furious phone call
  
  

As you can see, this story is all over the place. Tomorrow, one completely different gossip story that includes Jen and Angie and Justin and leaves Brad completely out of the picture.

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Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Amy Smart and Carter Oosterhouse! She's an actress and he's on HGTV, one of those cable networks I never watched even when I had cable. Us thinks it's newsworthy that they got hitched. Honest people can disagree.

Best wishes to the happy couple.

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Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Us tells us that the romance of Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz is no more. Weekly Life & Style had the same story last June. Checking online, they got back together after the last split, but now have decided to go their separate ways again.

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(Photo copyright Splash 2011)
Publications: Us Weekly, Star
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! The new narrative emerges strongly this week in the Kardashian Family Circus. Kim's sisters hate her new husband and are clearly happy to rat to the gossip rags about any friction they see between the newlyweds. Here are the headlines.

• Us Weekly: Kim defends her love
  Her sisters hate Kris
  Khloe & Kourtney accuse Kris of using Kim for fame.
  How her new love is dividing her family
• Star: Kardashians tell all
  Newlywed Kim miserable already
  fighting over her fortune
  Kris tells Kim: I'm tired of faking it for TV
  Family turns against him

Read more »

(picture from TMZ.COM/rights by Getty Images)
Publications: People, OK!, Weekly Life & Style, In Touch, Us Weekly
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash... on Wednesdays? Yes, all but two of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter have online presence, so I can check out the covers today, and one story hit all the covers of the non-AMI mags. Jennifer Lopez and Bradley Cooper were seen dining together, and though their representatives say it was business, the gossip rags are having a field day. Here are the headlines.

• People: J. Lo's dinner with Bradley Cooper
• OK!: J. Lo and Bradley's hot date (only in OK!)
• Weekly Life & Style: Marc can't handle it
  J. Lo and Bradley's hot date
• In Touch: J. Lo and Bradley: Hot New Romance
• Us Weekly: J. Lo and Bradley: Revenge Date
  

Besides this story getting five mentions and two of them implying that Jennifer is only doing this to get back at her cheating spouse, my favorite detail is OK! being delusional enough to think this story is an exclusive. The picture I nicked is from TMZ.com, which published this story back on Sunday.

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Publications: Us Weekly, People
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

Both Us and People mimic Vogue this week by having a Fall fashion issue. It's the biggest story on the cover of Us, with a large photo of Jennifer Lopez and no comments about her recent marital issues, here are the headlines.

• The Style Issue
• 52 pages of extra fashion
• Major discounts inside
• J. Lo's tips for making Fall's trends work for you
• 124 splurges for under $100!
• Bags, shoes, the perfect jeans - how to dress like a star for less!
  
  

People has just a small headline for their Fall fashion special with a picture of Blake Lively.

They also include a picture of Zoe Saldana.

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Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

According to Us Weekly, rapidly aging teen scream Joe Jonas wants Taylor Swift to be his girlfriend again. He's 22, she's 21, so there isn't a real age gap, but the young man has to learn a valuable lesson.

Once you've been eaten alive and spit out, you lose some of your desirability to the one who ate you.

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Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

Us tells it readers about a catfight between Jessica and Nicole. Of course, in the gossip world there are a bunch of Jessicas and several Nicoles as well.


The Jessica is Simpson.


The Nicole is Richie.

What they are fighting about, I have no idea. You'll have to buy the magazine yourself.

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Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! There's quite a struggle for the tenth spot of this year's Top Ten right now and Khloe Kardashian's name gets added to the list as a contender with this story about her difficulties in getting pregnant.

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Publication: Us Weekly

Date: 12 September 2011



After the break-up of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel earlier this year, only Us Weekly has taken much interest in either of their romantic lives, with the exception of one story in Weekly Life & Style about Justin and Mila Kunis.



Us Weekly printed a story two months ago that the couple was back together, and now they write a follow-up about how she forgave him, and allegedly there was a lot to forgive. I have found some confirmation online that they have been seen together recently.

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Publication: Us Weekly

Date: 12 Sept. 2011



Welcome to gossip hell, Sarah Michelle Gellar! Us Weekly gives her a semi-pleasant introduction to the supermarket checkout rags, mentioning that she's a new mom - always a plus - and explaining why she is returning to TV on a new series called Ringer, which will air on the CW network.

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Publications: People, Us Weekly, In Touch

Date: 12 Sept. 2011



People, the most reliable of the gossip rags, tells us Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are moving in together and Us Weekly concurs. In Touch and OK! (see story below) extend the story quite a bit. Here are the headlines.

• People: Jen & Justin moving in!
• Us Weekly: Inside Jen's new home
  
  
• In Touch: Inside Jen's beach wedding
  
  The dress, the vows, the surprise celebrity guest!
  
  And why Jen is calling marriage this time around "so much sweeter"
  
  Only in In Touch
  
  The new home where they'll raise the babies!

Best wishes to the happy couple.

Read more »

Publications: OK!, Weekly Life & Style

Date: 12 Sept. 2011



Now that they have actually gone down the aisle, it seems fitting that a new label be created for Kim'n'Kris. The stories about their short Italian honeymoon fill the covers of three supermarket rags this week. Here are the two of the headlines.

• Weekly Life & Style: (world exclusive) Honeymoon baby!
  
  Kim's spotted buying two pregnancy tests in Italy
  
  Cravings, fatigue and a growing bump
  
  she confirms to L&S "I CAN'T WAIT!"
• Us Weekly: (exclusive) Kim's honeymoon album
  
  "We want to start a family!"
  
  Kim shares her big news and personal stories from their Italian getaway
  
  All the photos!
  
  

Read more »

Publication: Us Weekly

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Welcome to gossip hell, Tia Mowry! It's more appropriate to call it gossip heck, because the star of the 90s sitcom Sister, Sister makes her supermarket rag debut this decade as the mother of a cute and healthy baby named Cree, the most positive kind of story the gossip rags carry.



Best wishes to all concerned.

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Publications: OK!, Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly, Globe

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Half of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter have stories about the suicide death of Russell Armstrong last week. Armstrong was the estranged husband of Taylor Armstrong of the reality TV show The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Here are four of the headlines.

• OK!: Russell's suicide
  
  why he didn't have to die
• Globe: Curse of reality TV
  
  Shows blasted for tearing lives apart
• Weekly Life & Style: Taylor devastated by suicide
  
  The chilling episodes you'll never see
• Us Weekly: Reality suicide
  
  dark secrets exposed
  
  destroyed by their pursuit of fame

Let the record show that these gossip hounds say it's all reality TV's fault, as though the supermarket rags don't rely on reality TV for a large bulk of their stories. (To be fair to the Globe, because their audience skews older, they don't do reality TV gossip as much as the other mags on the list above.) There is one headline I didn't include because it's going to be in the running for Meanest Story of the Week.

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Publications: Us Weekly, Star, Weekly Life & Style

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! No set of unused ovaries have been the focus of more speculation than those of Jennifer Aniston over the past few years, and this week we get three more stories saying she is definitely pregnant. Looking online, I have not seen the denials of this particular round of rumors, but she did deny the rumors from earlier this month. Here are the headlines.

• Us Weekly: Jen's Baby Countdown
  
  she suddenly quit smoking and drinking
  
  Decorating a new home with Justin
  
  And now, weight gain and morning sickness
• Weekly Life & Style: Fertility doctor gives Jen the good news
  
  It's Twins!
  
  Her bump gets bigger
  
  World exclusive
• Star: First look!
  
  Jen's baby nursery

Read more »

Publication: Us Weekly

Date: 29 August 2011



ABC has created a new spin-off of The Bachelor franchise called Bachelor Pad. I have no idea what the gimmick is, but it sounds more like Big Brother or The Real World. In any case, Vienna had a scheme but it didn't work out.



If you want to know what it was, you can buy the magazine. I've already used up all my interest in this story writing these few sentences.

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Publication: OK!, Us Weekly

Date: 29 August 2011



The Only Ten Magazines That Matter are not being as obsessive about Kim Kardashian's wedding this weekend as they were about the Wills'N'Kate's big to-do, but there are a passel of stories about wedding that have just recently happened or are about to happen or are at least being rumored.



OK! says Jennifer Aniston is planning to get married and Us Weekly says Jen and Justin (Theroux) are talking marriage. Her reps say this is just a rumor.

OK! says Eva Longoria is planning to get married. Her reps say this is just a rumor.



As I have written before, OK! is the nicest of the gossip rags, but not the most reliable.

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Publications: Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly, OK!, Star

Date: 29 August 2011



We are less than 72 hours from the wedding of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries this Saturday, August 20, and the wedding is the biggest story of the week on the covers of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter, with three magazine headlines and a fourth where she is part of a trio of soon to be brides. Here are the solo stories.

• Us Weekly: Kim's big day
  
  three wedding dresses
• OK!: exclusive interview complete coverage
  
  Kim weds!
  
  Gorgeous photos
  
  Touching gifts
  
  'Vera Wang made the perfect dress'
• Weekly Life & Style: Wedding of the year!
  
  All the romantic details
  
  two stunning Vera Wang gowns and a $15,000 cake
  
  Celebrating with 720 bottles of wine
  
  Kim in tears after Kris' touching promise
  
  Official interview: "Now I want babies!"

Notice that the magazines can't even agree on how many gowns there are, but they do agree that Vera Wang made them all. As for "Wedding of the Year!", there were six stories about Wills and Kate the Thursday before they got hitched, and I'm absolutely certain this wedding is not going to create a new tabloid person of interest like Pippa Middleton.



Still, this wedding has made weddings in general a big topic this week, and this blog wishes every happiness to all concerned.

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