Publications: People, OK!, In Touch, Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly, Star
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on... Wednesdays!?! Yes, there is clearly the Story of the Week, so let's get an early start on it. Some combination Brad and Jen and Angie and Justin (Theroux, the odd man out when it comes to gossip fame in this crowd) show up on an astonishing seven of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter, and given that none of them are old enough to be interesting to the Globe and the low rent Examiner and Nostradamus foolishly forgot to make any prophecies about them that would be published in the Sun, seven is just about the max anyone can get.

The National Enquirer story is way different from the others, so it will get its own post tomorrow.

Brad Pitt was interviewed in Parade magazine in the publicity run-up to his new movie Moneyball and he made some comments about having no ambition in the 1990s and his marriage to Jennifer Aniston no being what he had hoped for. This has caused a stink and he has publicly apologized, but that doesn't stop the gossip rags from flying off the handle in a jillion different directions. Here are the headlines.

• People: Brad to Jen: 'I'm Sorry'
• OK!: Brad to Jen: I've been living a lie!
  Brad publicly apologizes to Jen
  The shocking truth is finally revealed!
  A humiliated Angelina is devastated
• In Touch: Brad's insults spark a new war
  Jen's man threatens Brad
  Inside their explosive Sept. 14 showdown
  Justin calls Brad a "wimp" and warns, "Shut your mouth!"
  PLUS How Angelina is still fueling the fire
• Weekly Life & Style: Why Brad's jealous of Jen
• Us Weekly: Brad trashes their marriage
  Jen demands an apology
  Enraged by Pitt's cruel attack, Aniston refuses to let him spoil her happiness
• Star: Jen rips Brad for trashing her
  The furious phone call
  
  

As you can see, this story is all over the place. Tomorrow, one completely different gossip story that includes Jen and Angie and Justin and leaves Brad completely out of the picture.

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Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Last trash of the week... right now!

There's a new spin-off of the Bachelor called Bachelor Pad. I know nothing about it except that it's a bunch of guys and a bunch of girls who I assume had been on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. Two of them by the names of Holly and Blake decided to get together. I do not know anything about them and have little interest in learning more.

Going online, I see that the show's finale is either already happened or happening soon. For my taste, it can't be soon enough.

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Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

The stories of the reconciling of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are just a few weeks old and Weekly Life & Style has a headline that reads "Justin & Jessica: Finally a wedding".

Color me unconvinced.

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Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Regular readers know how I feel about Teen Mom, so let's just get to the headlines.

• Teen Mom Farrah: Why she gave up her baby
• The shocking reason she changed her mind about keeping Sophia
• Their emotional goodbye
• A selfish decision or a sacrifice for a better life?
• Exclusive interview
  

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Publications: Weekly Life & Style, In Touch
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Weekly Life & Style and In Touch are both published by Bauer and this week, these two and these two magazines alone among the supermarket rags decide to tell dark stories about the bimbo Kendra Wilkinson, stories that make her husband Hank look long suffering, mature and responsible. Here are the headlines.

• Weekly Life & Style: Kendra confesses: I hit my husband
• In Touch: Kendra's secret breakdown
  depression suicide and divorce
  beneath the bubbly facade, she admits, "I'm a wreck"
  Threatens husband Hank she'll kill herself
  Panic attacks and blackouts
  What finally forced him to take the baby away

Best wishes to Hank Baskett and the adorable Hank Baskett Jr. I hope both of these guys make it out of this okay.

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(picture from TMZ.COM/rights by Getty Images)
Publications: People, OK!, Weekly Life & Style, In Touch, Us Weekly
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash... on Wednesdays? Yes, all but two of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter have online presence, so I can check out the covers today, and one story hit all the covers of the non-AMI mags. Jennifer Lopez and Bradley Cooper were seen dining together, and though their representatives say it was business, the gossip rags are having a field day. Here are the headlines.

• People: J. Lo's dinner with Bradley Cooper
• OK!: J. Lo and Bradley's hot date (only in OK!)
• Weekly Life & Style: Marc can't handle it
  J. Lo and Bradley's hot date
• In Touch: J. Lo and Bradley: Hot New Romance
• Us Weekly: J. Lo and Bradley: Revenge Date
  

Besides this story getting five mentions and two of them implying that Jennifer is only doing this to get back at her cheating spouse, my favorite detail is OK! being delusional enough to think this story is an exclusive. The picture I nicked is from TMZ.com, which published this story back on Sunday.

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Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

Yet another grab bag story about female celebrities who are way too skinny, this time from Weekly Life & Style. Here are the particulars.

• Brad begs Angie to eat as the frail star drops to her lowest weight ever
• Delusional Katie: I'm too fat to make it in Hollywood
• Devastated Taylor: barely eating
• LeAnn: Starving to keep her man
• Stars' Dangerous Tricks for Not Feeling Hungry
  
  

Read more »

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart are not a popular gossip couple. They got a cover story May of last year that was about their new baby daughter. According to Weekly Life & Style, they are keeping separate households and Gayheart is "pregnant and alone". The magazine identifies Dane as "McSteamy", a nickname given to him when he was on Grey's Anatomy, along with the actors known as McDreamy, McDopey, McGrumpy, McHappy, McBashful and McSleepy.

Notice that none of them was nicknamed McDoc.

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Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Things are back to normal in the supermarket rags, more or less. I made a new label for Kim'N'Kris, but her 6'9" husband has mysteriously disappeared.

It's all about Kim now. As if it was ever otherwise.

Weekly Life & Style has a headline that they had a wedding in New York City, but the actual vows were said last month in Montecito, CA. This was just another party with a honking huge cake.

Like these people need an excuse for a honking huge party.

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Publications: Weekly Life & Style, Star
Date: 12 Sept. 2011

If these headlines were about anyone else, I'd think it was planted crap in the gossip rags to build up a buzz because Brad Pitt has a movie coming out later this month called Moneyball. But the supermarket rags have BrAngelina stuff week in and week out regardless if either of them has a project that's about to be released. Here are the headlines.

• Weekly Life & Style: Inside Brad & Angie's bedroom
• Star: Angie tells Brad: Get out!
  His late nights with sexy, young assistant push her over the edge
  He met Angelina on the set too!

Read more »

Publications: Star, Weekly Life & Style, In Touch
Date: 12 Sept. 2011

Still more about the alleged cuckolding of Will Smith in the supermarket rags this week, though only Jada's name appears in all three headlines, which are as follows.

• Weekly Life & Style: Did Marc really chose Jada over J. Lo?
• In Touch: Jada & Marc: what J. Lo knew
  
• Star: Will & Jada: Scientology and Gay Scandal
  Truth about their marriage

Doesn't being famous look like all the fun in the world?

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Publications: OK!, Weekly Life & Style

Date: 12 Sept. 2011



Now that they have actually gone down the aisle, it seems fitting that a new label be created for Kim'n'Kris. The stories about their short Italian honeymoon fill the covers of three supermarket rags this week. Here are the two of the headlines.

• Weekly Life & Style: (world exclusive) Honeymoon baby!
  
  Kim's spotted buying two pregnancy tests in Italy
  
  Cravings, fatigue and a growing bump
  
  she confirms to L&S "I CAN'T WAIT!"
• Us Weekly: (exclusive) Kim's honeymoon album
  
  "We want to start a family!"
  
  Kim shares her big news and personal stories from their Italian getaway
  
  All the photos!
  
  

Read more »

Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 12 Sept. 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick make their return to the covers of the supermarket rags, but only as an afterthought. Weekly Life & Style has a big picture of Kim Kardashian and her new hubby Kris Humphries on the cover and a single headline with no picture that reads "Plus: Kourtney says 'yes' to Scott".



I'm not sure if the quotation marks around 'yes' are meant to signify an actual quote or some ironic comment by the headline writers.

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Publications: People, Weekly Life & Style, OK!

Date: 12 Sept. 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Since Beyoncé's confirmation of pregnancy happened on Sunday, there was plenty of time for the gossip rags to get the story in this week's edition and three decided to put her on the cover. Here are the headlines.

• People: Beyoncé pregnant!
• Weekly Life & Style: Beyoncé four months pregnant
• OK!: Beyoncé: baby news!
  
  

Best wishes to all concerned.

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Publications: OK!, Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly, Globe

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Half of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter have stories about the suicide death of Russell Armstrong last week. Armstrong was the estranged husband of Taylor Armstrong of the reality TV show The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Here are four of the headlines.

• OK!: Russell's suicide
  
  why he didn't have to die
• Globe: Curse of reality TV
  
  Shows blasted for tearing lives apart
• Weekly Life & Style: Taylor devastated by suicide
  
  The chilling episodes you'll never see
• Us Weekly: Reality suicide
  
  dark secrets exposed
  
  destroyed by their pursuit of fame

Let the record show that these gossip hounds say it's all reality TV's fault, as though the supermarket rags don't rely on reality TV for a large bulk of their stories. (To be fair to the Globe, because their audience skews older, they don't do reality TV gossip as much as the other mags on the list above.) There is one headline I didn't include because it's going to be in the running for Meanest Story of the Week.

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Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 5 September 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Weekly Life & Style has a picture of the latest pair from that miserable romantic failure factory The Bachelorette with a baby exclusive.





If this is true and all goes according to form, the child will be just another "bastard in a basket!"

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Publications: People, In Touch, Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly, OK!, Star

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! The Only Ten Magazines That Matter treated the wedding of Kim Kardashian as a Big Damn Deal this week, with slightly less coverage than the Royal Wedding this spring, but more coverage than Chelsea Clinton last year.



Behold the power of reality TV.



Here are the headlines.

• People: Kim's wedding album
  
  The exclusive photos!
  
  only in People
  
  Gown! Guests! Glamour!
  
  Every delicious detail!
• In Touch: Kim's $400,000 wedding gift
• Weekly Life & Style: Kim's wedding album
  
  the ring, the dresses and that 7-foot cake
• Us Weekly: Kim's wedding
  
  fairy tale or fake?
  
  Inside her lavish $17 million I do's
• OK!: Kim's Fairy-tale wedding
• Star: Kim's wild wedding
  
  drunk stars and a shocking twist - only in Star

It's not surprising that Star would find a negative angle, but it is a little surprising that Us Weekly goes nasty, too. While I get the feeling there is some Kardashian backlash going on, the next logical step in the story is the pregnancy watch, and the gossip rags cannot help themselves when it comes to speculation about babies.



I don't think Kim is going away just yet. The rest of the Kardashian clan may be waning, but she has set herself up perfectly for the modern gossip industry.

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Publications: Us Weekly, Star, Weekly Life & Style

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! No set of unused ovaries have been the focus of more speculation than those of Jennifer Aniston over the past few years, and this week we get three more stories saying she is definitely pregnant. Looking online, I have not seen the denials of this particular round of rumors, but she did deny the rumors from earlier this month. Here are the headlines.

• Us Weekly: Jen's Baby Countdown
  
  she suddenly quit smoking and drinking
  
  Decorating a new home with Justin
  
  And now, weight gain and morning sickness
• Weekly Life & Style: Fertility doctor gives Jen the good news
  
  It's Twins!
  
  Her bump gets bigger
  
  World exclusive
• Star: First look!
  
  Jen's baby nursery

Read more »

Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 29 August 2011



Tara Reid often appears on the covers of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter, usually for being too skinny. In the spring of 2010, In Touch said she would be married in the summer of that year. Since her recent marriage is called a "surprise", I assume last year's engagement fell through and this is some new guy.



Best wishes to all concerned.

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Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 29 August 2011



Welcome to gossip hell, Sherri Shepherd. Sherri gets about the nicest intro to the gossip rags possible, pictures of her wedding day.



Best wishes to all concerned.

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