Publication: In Touch

Date: 29 August 2011



Here's a fun fact. It's the obscure British playwright William Congreve (1670-1729) who wrote the line "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned." This week's example of this well observed adage comes from Justin Theroux's ex. Here are the headlines.

• Hooked on Mr. Wrong
• His criminal past
• How he cruelly mocked Jen
• His ex: "He lied to my face!"
• "He'll never be faithful"
  
  
  
  

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Publication: National Examiner

Date: 22 August 2011



The low rent Examiner shows that their demographic skews older and more Southern than other gossip rags by tattling on country stars who can't be trusted by their women, Blake Shelton, Tim McGraw and Randy Travis. It should be noted that the youngest of these "boys" is 36 and the oldest is 52.

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Publication: Globe
Date: 25 July 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Mister Tony Bennett! The singer, painter and national treasure, who will turn 85 next month, has his name dragged through the mud by the Globe. They write about a new "tell-all book" that details Mister Bennett's ties to the mob, his drug use and cheating.

I have made a new label, Call Him Mister, especially for this story. Many ladies have gotten the "Call Her Miss" treatment on this blog, wonderful stars who have been around long enough they should be off limits to the garbage peddlers of the supermarket checkout rags. Mister Bennett is the first of his gender to get similar treatment here.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

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Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 25 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! There are two different stories about Ryan Reynold this week in the supermarket rags, and I think these aren't planted crap hoping to boost the box office of Green Lantern, which is now a month old and about to slip out of the top ten. No, the gossip rags have decided to turn Mr. Reynolds into a man slut along the lines of Gerard Butler.

Welcome to gossip hell, Charlize Theron! Us Weekly tells us that Ryan is secretly dating the South African born beauty. This is her first mention on the cover of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter in two years. In the post just below this one, Weekly Life & Style says Reynolds is trying to get back with his ex Scarlett Johansson.

This is classic man slut behavior, or more likely, a classic example of the gossip rags trying to turn a guy into a man slut. It's a pretty good bet when two stories like this appear in the same week, there are going to be more on the way.

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Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 25 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Ryan Reynolds is not a big movie star yet. His name above the title is not a promise of ticket sales. But the supermarket rags are fascinated with love life, so he is one of the biggest male gossip stars. Weekly Life & Style says he and ex-wife Scarlett Johannson are giving it another shot, at least for the time being.

This story is contradicted by another story this week.

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Publication: Star
Date: 18 July 2011

The cover of the Star is dominated by three divorce stories mentioned in the post just above this one, but they also have a teaser for another story about Hollywood divorce lawyers spilling their secrets about other clients. There is no artwork with this story because it's a "Guess who?" kind of deal. Here are the headlines.

• Cross-Dressing!
• Caught with the Nanny!
• Murder by Hit Man
• & more shocking secrets!
  

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Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 11 July 2011

Chris Hansen, the guy from To Catch A Predator who videotapes men coming into homes with the hope of sweet talking some underaged girl into bed, has been caught on videotape sweet talking a woman past age of consent, but said woman is not his wife. Unlike most stories in the supermarket rags, this one has gained traction quickly in the mainstream press and qualifies as Scoop of the Week.

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Publications: Globe, National Enquirer
Date: 27 June 2011

The only magazines currently still interested in Arnold Schwarzenegger's cheating ass are the Enquirer and the Globe, so as you can imagine, there isn't a whole lot of forgiveness in the stories. Here are the headlines.

• National Enquirer: Arnold's mistress breaks her silence
  Secret about their love child
  Her confession to Maria "I cried and dropped to my knees!"
• Globe: Cheating Arnold begs Maria: Take me back!
  She tells him: Go to hell!

The Enquirer has a picture of Mildred Baena and her son Joseph.

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Publication: Globe
Date: 20 June 2011

The Globe publishes a picture of Bill Clinton sitting next to a woman at what appears to be a conference and then a picture of her modeling lingerie, though it may not be a recent picture.

I guess if I had the choice of being portrayed as a walking corpse or a horn dog, I'd take the latter. Since his hospitalization early last year, there have been about twice as many stories about him being near death as there have been stories about him being near some honey who isn't his wife.

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Publication: National Examiner
Date: 13 June 2011

In what may be the lowest blow yet delivered, the chronicling of Arnold Schwarzenegger's scumbaggery has now migrated to the low rent Examiner, who says the former California governor has two more love children.

Who is the source of this unconfirmed but not ultra surprising news?

Welcome to gossip hell, Jane Seymour! How would the actress and jewelry designer know about Arnold's private life?

I have no friggin' idea. They have never been in a single project together. She is a reliable source only if we accept the idea that all famous people know each other.

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