Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 12 September 2011



The Enquirer does sometimes get a story right, but in their hearts they are liars who can't be trusted. This week on the cover, they promise the best and worst celebrity diets, but the pictures on the cover only show people who are very fat or way too skinny. There are a couple of "Guess Who?" pictures, but I don't play that. I will note that in the "Guess Who?", there is a picture of a man with his face covered where you can count his ribs like some survivor from Auschwitz, but all the rest of the people pictured are women.



Here are the too fat people named.

• Miranda Lambert: 158 pounds
• Sabourney Sibide: 400 pounds
  
  

Here are the too skinny people named.

• Lindsay Lohan: scary skinny
• Renee Zellweger: bag of bones
• Christie Brinkley: 107 lbs.

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Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 1 August 2011

Yet another bach body cover story from an AMI publication, usually the Enquirer or the Star. Ignoring the "Guess who?" pictures which are always unflattering, there are three women considered too fat and three others who are deemed to look good.

The fat:

• Catherine Bach
• Fantasia Barrino from American False Idol
• Neve Campbell

The ones who aren't fat:

• Hillary Swank
• Megan Fox
• Julianne Hough from Dancing With The Stars

Just to rub it in a little, the Enquirer promises to tell you which of the people who look good have had plastic surgery.

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Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 18 July 2011

Oprah Winfrey is just a story or two away from breaking into the top ten for most cover appearances, almost all of them on the Three Wicked Step Sisters, the Enquirer, Globe and the low rent Examiner. This week, it's the Flagship taking pot shots at her, saying she now weighs 271 pounds and she underwent a secret four hour surgery to save her life.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

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Publication: Star

Date: 11 July 2011



Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!



Star has yet another grab bag of women in swimsuits on the cover, some looking good, some not so good. Ignoring the "guess who?" pictures, here's the list.



They found a flattering picture of Kim Kardashian in a bikini. This is not that difficult.



They welcomed Christina Hendricks to gossip hell with a swimsuit picture that makes the Mad Men star look not only top heavy (d'uh!) but heavy as well.



Others in swimsuits include Ke$ha, Coco and Cameron Diaz.



They speculate on enboobenings on ex-Spice Girl Geri Haliwell and Vienna Girardi from The Bachelor.

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Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 20 June 2011

The Enquirer never gets tired of mocking Kirstie Alley for her weight. This week, they say she has an eating disorder and claim she has gained 12 pounds since losing on Dancing With The Stars.

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Publication: National Examiner
Date: 13 June 2011

There was a time when the Clinton marriage was prime tabloid fodder, but those days are long gone. This is only the second report of a Bill and Hillary Clinton marriage crisis is about a year and a half, and both reports have been in the low rent Examiner. The story says has Hillary packed on 50 lbs. after Bill threatened divorce.

Stay classy, low rent Examiner.

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