Publications: People, Us Weekly, National Enquirer
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Kirstie Alley has lost a lot of weight recently and the supermarket rags like to see that. Here are the headlines.

• People: Kirstie Alley 100 lbs. gone
• Us Weekly: Kirstie drops 100 lbs.
• National Enquirer: Kirstie bulimia fears
  Amazing 100 lb. weight loss

And once again, the Enquirer shows how they stay at the top of the table in the race for Nastiest Gossip Rag in America.

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Publications: Star, In Touch
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Ali Lohan! Lindsay's little sister works as a model and is only 17, but she's already had a remarkably unnecessary and unattractive plastic surgery and has lost a ridiculous amount of weight.

Another shining testament to the parenting skills of the elder Lohans.

Here are the headlines.

• In Touch: Dying to be thin (pictures of Lohan and Taylor Armstrong)
• Star: Ali Lohan plastic surgery scandal
  She's only 17
  

I debated whether the phrase "dying to be thin" should be considered a figure of speech or if Lohan and Armstrong should be put on the tabloid vulture watch. Given how tough a stretch Taylor Armstrong is going through and what a mess the Lohan family is, I decided it should be considered more literal than figurative and used the label Not Long 4 This World (indirect), the lowest level of tabloid death watch. Both probably have long lives in front of them, but adding them to the list is not going to ruin the tabloids' track record, which is very bad indeed. After adding these names, there have been 91 people marked for death in the rags since the beginning of 2010 and only ten of them have died so far.

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Publication: Star
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Yet again, Angelina Jolie is excoriated for her weight, which Star says is down to 94 lbs.

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Publication: OK!
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

For all OK!'s faults, when they have a headline about best beach bodies, they have pictures of pretty people on the cover. A lot of AMI mags have "best and worst" headlines then only show the worst.


Kim Kardashian is included, though she's not really "in Hollywood" since she doesn't make movies or non-reality TV.

Still, I like looking at this picture.



Megan Fox is "in Hollywood", but her star is fading fast. Still pretty, but not still getting a lot of work.


Zac Efron is like the male Megan Fox. Everyone agrees he looks good without a shirt, but his post High School Musical career is still waiting for a hit movie.

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Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

Yet another grab bag story about female celebrities who are way too skinny, this time from Weekly Life & Style. Here are the particulars.

• Brad begs Angie to eat as the frail star drops to her lowest weight ever
• Delusional Katie: I'm too fat to make it in Hollywood
• Devastated Taylor: barely eating
• LeAnn: Starving to keep her man
• Stars' Dangerous Tricks for Not Feeling Hungry
  
  

Read more »

Publication: Star
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

The Star goes for the whole enchilada with a story that the former Kate Middleton is not only pregnant, but pregnant with twins. Here are the headlines.

• Kate pregnant with twins
• The official announcement
• A boy and a girl
• Now she's struggling to gain weight
• Wills'N'Kate overjoyed
  
  

The only thing official about this story is that it's been officially denied already.

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Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 12 September 2011



The Enquirer does sometimes get a story right, but in their hearts they are liars who can't be trusted. This week on the cover, they promise the best and worst celebrity diets, but the pictures on the cover only show people who are very fat or way too skinny. There are a couple of "Guess Who?" pictures, but I don't play that. I will note that in the "Guess Who?", there is a picture of a man with his face covered where you can count his ribs like some survivor from Auschwitz, but all the rest of the people pictured are women.



Here are the too fat people named.

• Miranda Lambert: 158 pounds
• Sabourney Sibide: 400 pounds
  
  

Here are the too skinny people named.

• Lindsay Lohan: scary skinny
• Renee Zellweger: bag of bones
• Christie Brinkley: 107 lbs.

Read more »

Publication: OK!

Date: 5 September 2011



A quick scan of the label list shows that Damn You Skinny™ stories are more than twice as common as Damn You Fat™ stories, roughly as common as Bun In The Oven Alerts™. OK! has three women on the cover this week, Gwyneth Paltrow, LeAnn Rimes and Angelina Jolie, with a passel of headlines that aren't connected to specific people, hoping to get someone to open the magazine and read it. In my case, as usual, this clever plan did not work.



Here are the headlines.

• Hollywood's most extreme diets
• Exercising at midnight
• Eating only baby food
• 190 calories per meal
• Who's being healthy and who's in danger!
  
  

Read more »

Publication: OK!

Date: 29 August 2011



OK! tells us they have inside information on the actual eating habits of two women sometimes considered too skinny. The first is Kristen Stewart.



I'm sure she gets plenty of protein biting her lower lip. She does that all the time. Also, I've seen publicity stills from the latest Twilight saga. Wearing very little clothing and photographed from lots of angles, her arms and legs don't have that ridiculous emaciated look at all.

And the other is Kate Middleton. She may be too skinny, but she is a vast improvement over the #1 Kate of 2010 gossip, Kate Gosselin.

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Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 29 August 2011



I don't claim this blog is of earth shattering importance, but the idea is to keep track of stories over time. Weekly Life & Style has a quote from Bethenny Frankel admitting that she is too thin right now. In February, Us Weekly had a story that she said she used to be obsessed about being thin.



The first step is admitting you have a problem.

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Publication: Star

Date: 22 August 2011



Star has a swimsuit headline that is completely positive, featuring two women looking good and no snide comments about possible surgical enhancement.



The first is Kim Kardashian. They didn't use this particular picture, but I for one never get tired of it.

The next is Cameron Diaz, who is usually chided for over exercising and too strict a diet.



Looks mighty fine here, though I don't know how old this picture is.

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Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 22 August 2011

Weekly Life & Style had one of those grab bag stories of good looking female celebrities getting crazy about staying skinny. The person who got the most attention was Kate Middleton, but I split that into a separate story. The original sub-story had a list of four names, but I took the headline about JWoww from Jersey Shore and included that in another story from another mag about her. Here are the other three headlines.

Katie Holmes is starving for fashion.

Angelina Jolie has no time for food.



Cameron Diaz spends hours at the gym and does not eat carbs.

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Publications: Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly

Date: 22 August 2011



Jersey Shore is one of the most popular reality shows ever, but The Only Ten Magazine That Matter barely notice its existence. Now that the fourth season is starting, two gossip rags take notice of bust JWoww's weight loss and relative natural deboobening.

• Weekly Life & Style: JWoww is unrecognizable
• Us Weekly: JWoww's hot body makeover
  
  
  
  It's interesting that Us makes it a positive story, while Life & Style includes it in a passel of negative stories.
• 
  
  

Read more »

Publications: In Touch, National Enquirer

Date: 22 August 2011



In Touch is the meanest of the magazines of the non-AMI magazines at about two thirds mean stories. The Enquirer is meanest mag period with about 90% mean stories. But this week, on the same story, In Touch slightly out-means The Flagship on stories tsk-tsking LeAnn Rimes and her weight. Here are the headlines.

• In Touch: LeAnn shocker: 95 lbs.
• National Enquirer: LeAnn Rimes down to a bone thin 99 lbs.
  
  New weight loss shocker
  
  
  
  

Read more »

Publication: Globe

Date: 22 August 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Last year, the Globe was beating up on Penny Marshall every way they could think of. She was fat, she was dying, you name it.



With a single headline, they say she is a lot less fat, losing 85 lbs., and has beat cancer, which I assume takes her off the Brave Last Days list.



Good for her and good for the Globe, which is not a phrase I type that often. It's nice to see them put a nice headline up, but it doesn't change the fact that there will be two Globe headlines battling it out for Meanest Story of the Week tomorrow morning.

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Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 22 August 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Last week, there were no stories about Wills or Kate in the American supermarket gossip rags, but they are back with a vengeance this week. Weekly Life & Style has a grab bag of stories about too skinny celebrities, but the big headlines go to Kate Middleton. Here are the headlines.

• Stressed over kidnap threats
• Pressure to be the perfect princess
• Rebelling against the queen
  
  
  
  

Read more »

Publication: Globe

Date: 15 August 2011



Years ago, Garth Brooks was skinny, then he was fat. Allegedly, he's skinny again or at least skinnier, and the Globe wants his fans to know he cheated and got his stomach stapled.

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Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 1 August 2011

Yet another bach body cover story from an AMI publication, usually the Enquirer or the Star. Ignoring the "Guess who?" pictures which are always unflattering, there are three women considered too fat and three others who are deemed to look good.

The fat:

• Catherine Bach
• Fantasia Barrino from American False Idol
• Neve Campbell

The ones who aren't fat:

• Hillary Swank
• Megan Fox
• Julianne Hough from Dancing With The Stars

Just to rub it in a little, the Enquirer promises to tell you which of the people who look good have had plastic surgery.

Read more »

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 8 August 2011

Yet another story about too skinny female celebrities this week. Here are the headlines.

Katie Holmes: Skin and bones
Tom's worried as Katie drops to her lowest weight ever

Kate: Pressure to be perfect

Angelina: Skips Meals and Snubs Carbs

Housewife Taylor: Divorce Stress

Tara Reid: Lipo wasn't enough

Read more »

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 25 July 2011

Weekly Life & Style goes negative on a bunch of size zero celebrities, including Leann Rimes, pictured above and only one of them is a reality TV star. Here are the headlines.

• William tells Kate to ditch the diet as the size zero princess loses 10 lbs.
• Leann: Skin and bones
• Heidi (Klum): Losing her curves
• Katie (Holmes): No carbs in three months
• Audrina (Patridge): Mom says "Get Skinnier!"
  

Read more »