Publication: National Examiner
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

The low rent Examiner goes with a story about plastic surgery snafus, most of them on women older than I am, some who were famous before I graduated high school. There are pictures of Loni Anderson, Linda Evans (pictured above), Priscilla Presley, Courtney Love and Tanya Tucker, all of them looking a bit too much like Mickey Rourke.

Courtney Love is the odd person out on this list. Everyone else was famous in the 1960s or 1970s, while Love's fame started in the 1990s. Many from the target demographic for the low rent Examiner won't even know who she is.

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Publication: Weekly World News (via the Sun)
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

The Sun didn't have a useful headline this week, but it was close. It said Nostradamus had predictions for 2012, but it gave nothing specific on the cover and I don't open these magazines up.

On the other hand, the Weekly World News did have a headline worth reporting, a story about O.J. Simpson's "hush-hush" wedding inside prison. The sub-headline reads "You'll never guess who the bride is!"

Again, I didn't open the magazine up, but factoring in that it's reported in the Weekly World News, my guess would be the bride is O.J.

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Publication: Globe
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

The Globe runs with a cover story that Paul McCartney and Doris Day had a love affair some 46 years ago. You can read the conversation Sir Paul had with Miss Day online from earlier this month that says he was a fan back in the day, an interview published by the reputable Telegraph from the U.K. No mention of fluid transfer is made.

The good news in this dishonest headline is that at least they aren't trying to bury Miss Day, which is the usual headline in the supermarket rags.

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Publication: Huffington Post
Date: 10 Sept. 2011

Cliff Robertson, the actor who portrayed a young John F. Kennedy in in the movie PT-109 and won an Oscar in the movie Charly, has died at the age of 88. He also made commercials for ATT&T after he found it tough to find work when he blew the whistle on David Begelman, the president of Columbia Pictures who forged Robertson's name on a $10,000 salary check.

No tabloid mentioned that he was ill, though he is the right age and fame level to get mentioned by the vulture press.

Best wishes to the family and friends of Mr. Robertson, from a fan.

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Publication: Globe
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

If there is something amiss with a pop singer from the 1960s, with the possible exception of Cher the story will have to be in the Globe or the low rent Examiner, the two magazine that cater to the Hey Old Timer gossip demographic. This week, Welsh soul singer Tom Jones is said to have a heart drama and a shocking secret he is keeping from his fans.

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Publication: National Examiner
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

The low rent Examiner has a headline about an alleged new tell all book about Gay Hollywood. While they include the headline "Who's Gay and Who's Not!", by putting pictures of celebrities on the front cover, they put those actors under a cloud of suspicion.

Non of these actors has had a single headline in the tabloids in the past two years before this one.


The first is John Cusack.

The second is John Amos.


And the last outed John is Jean-Claude Van Damme.

I'm not the most avid follower of these kinds of stories, but I will say I've heard rumors about one of these actors before.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

And as always, stay classy, low rent Examiner!

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Publication: Globe

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



The tabloids tell us someone is near death more than once a week on average and their prophecy record pretty much sucks. This week, three people on the Vulture List get stories that make it sound like they aren't ready to leave us just yet. Burt Reynolds might lose his house, Dick Van Dyke has a new lease on life with a girlfriend less than half his age and now Doris Day is said to be recording a new album, a story I found confirmed by other sources. The Globe says its her first album in 29 years, while the independent confirmation says she recorded one in 1994, which is only 17 years ago. Alleged "insiders" fear that the 87 year old singer and actress is only making this recording because she is going broke.



Stay classy, Globe.

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Publication: National Examiner

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



This week, there were three updates on people who are under Brave Last Days watch that make it sound like maybe the end is not so near after all. About five months ago, the low rent Examiner put Dick Van Dyke on the tabloid vulture list. This week, they say the 84 year old actor is very happy with a 39 year old "galpal" whom he credits with saving his life.



Best wishes to Mr. Van Dyke, his family and friends, from a fan.

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Publication: National Examiner

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



The low rent Examiner tells us that Burt Reynolds may lose his home because he hasn't paid his mortgage in a year.



Maybe Burt reads the gossip rags and believes he'll be dead soon.



In any case, this is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

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Publication: National Examiner

Date: 29 August 2011



Labor Day is rolling around, and the low rent Examiner wants us to know that the Muscular Dystrophy Foundation finally got as sick of Jerry Lewis as right thinking Americans have been sick of him since, oh I don't know, Don't Raise the Bridge, Lower the River. They are allegedly afraid of what he might say.

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Publication: National Examiner

Date: 22 August 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Is "Barbara Walters' lesbian scandal" already more information than you wanted?



Yep. Me, too.



Stay classy, low rent Examiner!

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Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 22 August 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! The Flagship tells us, in an exclusive no less, that famed tanning expert George Hamilton is now battling skin cancer.



This blog It's News 2 Them™ would also like to print an exclusive story that the sun will rise in the east tomorrow morning.



Remember, you heard it here first.

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Publication: Globe

Date: 22 August 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Last year, the Globe was beating up on Penny Marshall every way they could think of. She was fat, she was dying, you name it.



With a single headline, they say she is a lot less fat, losing 85 lbs., and has beat cancer, which I assume takes her off the Brave Last Days list.



Good for her and good for the Globe, which is not a phrase I type that often. It's nice to see them put a nice headline up, but it doesn't change the fact that there will be two Globe headlines battling it out for Meanest Story of the Week tomorrow morning.

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Publication: National Examiner
Date: 8 August 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Miss Celeste Holm! I loved her so much in movies that were made before I was born, like All About Eve and Champagne for Caesar. Well now, it's the low rent Examiner that tells us her family is squabbling about her money and she may lose her home.

The good news is that this is not a Brave Last Days alert for the Academy Award winning actress, who tuned 94 last April.

Best wishes to Miss Holm, her friends and whatever family members who are not trying to rob her blind, from a fan.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

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Publication: Star
Date: 1 August 2011
(photo nicked for exposay.com, copyright Chris Hatcher)

Another grab bag of celebrities who have gone under the knife are presented on the cove of Star this week. There are a couple of "Guess Who?" pictures, but as you know, I don't play that. A lot of the women are older stars barely of any interest to the tabloids. For example, Linda Evans get mentioned for the first time in at least two years and Madonna and Lisa Rinna (pictured above) get mentioned for the first time in 2011. Suzanne Somers and Nicole Kidman are also mentioned, common names when plastic surgery is the topic.

If any name on the list counts as a surprise at all, they say that Jennifer Aniston, the youngest person on the list by several years, has been under the knife twice. Star has floated this story before.

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Publication: Globe
Date: 1 August 2011

Once again, the Globe makes clear who their target audience is: people who stay home and watch daytime TV and have done so for quite some time. They don't just do a story about soap opera stars, they have a story about former soap opera stars. On the cover are Gloria Loring, Jack Scalia, Amy Gibson and some little girl in a "Guess Who" picture who has gone on to have a career. I can't tell for sure who it is, and if you want to find out, you can get the magazine yourself.

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Publication: Globe
Date: 1 August 2011

The months roll by, things come and go, but the constant is the dogs from the AMI kennel saying bad things about Miss Loretta Lynn. Now it's the Globe saying the country star and living legend is enduring a "heart attack nightmare".

Here's a tip about reading these headlines. The words "nightmare" and "drama" usually mean "this story is blown all out of proportion". Miss Loretta is now 79 years old, by no means a spring chicken but not as old as it used to be. The tabloids have been trying to kill her off for at least a year and a half.

Best wishes to Miss Loretta Lynn, her family and friends, from a fan.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

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Publication: National Examiner
Date: 1 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! While People did a respectful cover story on Betty Ford last week, the low rent Examiner follows suit a week later. The headline reads "Courageous First Lady at Peace", and I have a hard time disagreeing with that.

I still count the low rent Examiner as one of the Three Wicked Step Sister tabloids, but to quote They Might Be Giants, I can declare them The Nicest Of The Damned.

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Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 25 July 2011

The Enquirer threw a dart at a board full of celebrity names and decided to make James Brolin's life a living hell. Back in March, they reported on trouble in his marriage to Barbra Streisand, and now they have a picture of someone they say is Brolin's son, a big guy - they say 300 lbs., could be more - who looks developmentally disabled, who is now living out of his truck.

Before you ask, no, it's not Josh Brolin. Say what you will about him, he's not fat.

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Publication: Globe
Date: 25 July 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Mister Tony Bennett! The singer, painter and national treasure, who will turn 85 next month, has his name dragged through the mud by the Globe. They write about a new "tell-all book" that details Mister Bennett's ties to the mob, his drug use and cheating.

I have made a new label, Call Him Mister, especially for this story. Many ladies have gotten the "Call Her Miss" treatment on this blog, wonderful stars who have been around long enough they should be off limits to the garbage peddlers of the supermarket checkout rags. Mister Bennett is the first of his gender to get similar treatment here.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

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